A Crisis of Expectations

I'm a typical woman.  I have a million roles to play each day, a million tasks to perform, and some days I multitask like no one's business.  But that precarious little game I play falls apart every time one of my kids gets sick.  And for whatever reason I often find my gremlins lurking as I sit in my pajamas, cradling my kid on the couch, giggling at old Looney Toon cartoons. 

Why do my gremlins show up then?  Because there's so much I'd planned to do today that isn't being done.  My gremlins never see what I'm actually doing... how stars are popping out of my crown as I sit on the couch.  I'm happy.  Even though I have a tiny bit of puke in my hair, I can't tell you when I last showered, and I'm drowning in piles of laundry... clean piles AND dirty piles.  
I feel like it's times like these when I am truly going with the flow, that I'm really happy just playing one role, not multitasking, and sinking into the moment, that the doubts... the gremlins... come out.  They tell me that I shouldn't have planned all those other things I had planned today in the first place.

What IS that?  WHY on earth do I think I should give up all those other things that make me happy... my work... my personal time... my friends... just because a few days a month I could unexpectedly have kids home from school?  Answer: I shouldn't.

I know that things I'm up to right now are stretching me.  I'm meeting some of my edges.  And it's good.  And it's scary.  So, when the gremlins had an excuse to say there was something more important out there than pushing my edges... being present for a sick kid!!!... well, they just said I was wasting my time on everything else.  

In some ways, the gremlins just required a perspective shift... and luckily I knew just the friend to reach out to.  In the past I would never have reached out when I was feeling crummy... I would have tried to steel myself up and power on.  But this morning, when the gremlins started screaming, I sent a quick text.  I chose this particular friend because she's a mom too... and a minimum of words could convey my angst.  

She responded by reminding me of my wholeness.  She pointed out that all of my roles contribute to the others because they are each a part of me.  Her coup de grace was this: 

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This journey of being multi-passionate is a sacred one.  It is true that the balance of living all areas of our life as fully as we can is constantly challenged.  But don't let that challenge be all you can see... for you are rich and full.
Julie Brooks
A Place In The Sun Coaching

So, if you felt crummy today and DIDN'T reach out to a friend, please read Julie's words again.  Most women I know ARE multi-passionate.  And, most women I know are pretty hard on themselves for all the things that don't get done... or making sure that things meet others' expectations.  Truly, we need to remember that it is the path of balancing all of the things we have going on that makes us rich and full.  And some days are there to make clear our priorities, and some days we multi-task furiously.  In our own gorgeously messy way we make it through, and if we keep our eyes on what truly and deeply makes us most happy, we really can't go wrong.

Back to the couch for me!  And keep your fingers crossed that I don't catch this stomach bug!