The Divine in Everyday Life

Have you ever had an experience that was as mundane as could be, but you just knew had been orchestrated by Divine Intervention?  I mean, that you could just feel the perfection of the moment (even if it was really uncomfortable)?

I had one of these experiences lately.  There were a series of events that left no doubt in my mind that I was at a really major crossroads.  I had been confronting some old memories... you know those old things that you've almost convinced yourself aren't really yours... and that feels like such a relief... but then you admit to them and they become persistent thoughts until you begin to feel them?

I have a very partial memory of being abused when I was five.  Lots of times I had thought of it, but with so few details I chose to think it wasn't real.  I even brought it up to a healer once... who told me it wasn't my memory... that it belonged to someone else.  Wahoo!  Free pass to toss that sucker by the wayside!  But, like toilet paper stuck to my shoe... it followed me around...  and just last year I decided I was brave enough to investigate.

Lots of other memories flow into this same river confluence.  Suffice it to say that what I learned at five, that was reinforced over and over later in a multitude of ways, was that my value was in what I could offer to others.  The important thing was that someone else feel good, or not feel bad... but that my feelings didn't really matter.

Fast forward to mid-January.  I was creating the material for Water As My Ally (my Water Intensive e-course), and the secrets, the feelings, the conflict in my sense of sensuality from these experiences... all came bubbling up to the surface.  I fell into a full on Divine Feminine crisis.

At the same time, the wisdom of my body was also surfacing.  All of the places that I held these tensions, conflicts, and sense of resignation came to my attention in one way or another.  Ultimately, I was diagnosed with prolapse.  I was intensely afraid of having an hysterectomy... I realized how much I identified my femininity and my womanhood with my uterus.  I mourned.  I threw slightly childish fits about how "unfair" this all was.  

And then... there was a moment of immaculate divinity.  The fourth doctor's appointment.  I hadn't yet managed to see the same doctor twice for all of the issues I was having in the same locale... and I was getting tired of a parade of physicians in my nether regions.  But, this time it was different.  I had seen three female doctors... each of whom treated me for the first thing they saw, but never the whole story.  It was like they wanted out of attending to another woman's female parts as soon as possible.  I was scheduled to see Doctor #3, but she was catching a baby... so I was introduced to Doctor #4... a man.  

It was a divine miracle.  Seriously.  I'm not joking.  He realized he had surprised me.  He told me I could decide if I wanted him to see me or to reschedule (he IMMEDIATELY offered me choice!).  He listened to my story.  He was willing to let me show him what I was seeing that worried me BEFORE he did "his exam" (another doctor had refused this request).  He was professional, he took his time, he took measurements, he assessed all of the possibilities.  

And then he told me that the prolapse isn't too bad.  He said I need to strengthen my pelvic floor.  He recommended exercise.  {Do you know how many times I've had to advocate for myself... for other therapies besides taking a pill or having surgery???}.  Whew! 

And bigger than that... he was a man.  A stranger that showed up in complete compassion.  He listened.  He gave me choices.  This instantly began healing the part of me that had been betrayed by men... by doctors... by myself.  I rewrote stories of who men are, who doctors are, who is allowed to decide what to do with my body.  And finally, I was able to see where I had followed suit and betrayed myself... believing the story that I had little or no inherent value.

This was a life-changing 15 minutes.  And I am absolutely certain that the Divine intervened in that moment... converging all of my rivers into one so that I can keep moving forward.  It's a feeling I just can't relay with words.  A divine moment of clarity and healing... archetypal and yet also tangible in this very body.  

My point?  {I know this is long... we're almost there!}  The truly miraculously Divine really is present every day.  It is possible with each interaction, each moment, each blink of the eye, to behold great wonders, to heal old wounds, to rewrite old stories.  

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Follow me on Facebook Jill Clifton at Luminous Muse Healing