I'm starting to get nervous. I go on stage in four days (YoniVerse Monologues) to tell a story that has held me captive for almost 30 years. In the years that I unquestioningly believed that story, I also ran from it and all of the emotions that went with it... primarily grief, shame (is that an emotion?), and fear. These emotions have come up to be healed in the four months that I've been crafting this story... I've done lots of crying and speaking truth in this last four months. I've had a chance to be honest about who I believed myself to be then... and who I believe myself to be now.
I've been given the gift of having to condense such a long story into seven short minutes... because it made me get out of the details to find the theme. I realized that what I'd always longed for had been there all along... I just hadn't been able to see it because it didn't look like I expected or wanted. I have been able to look back and see the strength, imperfection, fortitude, and triumphs that I have never seen before. I have felt compassion for my younger self. I have been transformed by the deep listening of my sister storytellers... and by the development of their stories. I am not who I was before I wrote this story. I will never be the same again. I believe that women telling their own stories takes steps toward liberating women everywhere.
2 Comments
Tara
3/1/2016 05:21:11 am
Jill!
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Jill
3/2/2016 08:25:27 am
Thanks Tara, I am doing this both for my own healing around my mother story and because I believe that as more women speak... more women will be able to speak. It's exciting and scary! :)
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Jill CliftonI'm an explorer of inner realms, a pattern observer, and an invitation maker. I believe that healing the world starts within. If you organize your blog conversations through Bloglovin' you can follow me there...
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