Have you ever had an experience that was as mundane as could be, but you just knew had been orchestrated by Divine Intervention? I mean, that you could just feel the perfection of the moment (even if it was really uncomfortable)? I had one of these experiences lately. There were a series of events that left no doubt in my mind that I was at a really major crossroads. I had been confronting some old memories... you know those old things that you've almost convinced yourself aren't really yours... and that feels like such a relief... but then you admit to them and they become persistent thoughts until you begin to feel them? I have a very partial memory of being abused when I was five. Lots of times I had thought of it, but with so few details I chose to think it wasn't real. I even brought it up to a healer once... who told me it wasn't my memory... that it belonged to someone else. Wahoo! Free pass to toss that sucker by the wayside! But, like toilet paper stuck to my shoe... it followed me around... and just last year I decided I was brave enough to investigate. Lots of other memories flow into this same river confluence. Suffice it to say that what I learned at five, that was reinforced over and over later in a multitude of ways, was that my value was in what I could offer to others. The important thing was that someone else feel good, or not feel bad... but that my feelings didn't really matter. Fast forward to mid-January. I was creating the material for Water As My Ally (my Water Intensive e-course), and the secrets, the feelings, the conflict in my sense of sensuality from these experiences... all came bubbling up to the surface. I fell into a full on Divine Feminine crisis. At the same time, the wisdom of my body was also surfacing. All of the places that I held these tensions, conflicts, and sense of resignation came to my attention in one way or another. Ultimately, I was diagnosed with prolapse. I was intensely afraid of having an hysterectomy... I realized how much I identified my femininity and my womanhood with my uterus. I mourned. I threw slightly childish fits about how "unfair" this all was. And then... there was a moment of immaculate divinity. The fourth doctor's appointment. I hadn't yet managed to see the same doctor twice for all of the issues I was having in the same locale... and I was getting tired of a parade of physicians in my nether regions. But, this time it was different. I had seen three female doctors... each of whom treated me for the first thing they saw, but never the whole story. It was like they wanted out of attending to another woman's female parts as soon as possible. I was scheduled to see Doctor #3, but she was catching a baby... so I was introduced to Doctor #4... a man. It was a divine miracle. Seriously. I'm not joking. He realized he had surprised me. He told me I could decide if I wanted him to see me or to reschedule (he IMMEDIATELY offered me choice!). He listened to my story. He was willing to let me show him what I was seeing that worried me BEFORE he did "his exam" (another doctor had refused this request). He was professional, he took his time, he took measurements, he assessed all of the possibilities. And then he told me that the prolapse isn't too bad. He said I need to strengthen my pelvic floor. He recommended exercise. {Do you know how many times I've had to advocate for myself... for other therapies besides taking a pill or having surgery???}. Whew! And bigger than that... he was a man. A stranger that showed up in complete compassion. He listened. He gave me choices. This instantly began healing the part of me that had been betrayed by men... by doctors... by myself. I rewrote stories of who men are, who doctors are, who is allowed to decide what to do with my body. And finally, I was able to see where I had followed suit and betrayed myself... believing the story that I had little or no inherent value. This was a life-changing 15 minutes. And I am absolutely certain that the Divine intervened in that moment... converging all of my rivers into one so that I can keep moving forward. It's a feeling I just can't relay with words. A divine moment of clarity and healing... archetypal and yet also tangible in this very body. My point? {I know this is long... we're almost there!} The truly miraculously Divine really is present every day. It is possible with each interaction, each moment, each blink of the eye, to behold great wonders, to heal old wounds, to rewrite old stories. Curious to hear more? Sign up for Notes From The Muse my monthly-ish correspondence.
Follow me on Facebook Jill Clifton at Luminous Muse Healing
3 Comments
ARLENE
2/23/2015 01:09:10 am
Thank you for bringing up such a vital & still largely unspoken-about topic for women. As a health professional & woman, I can say that this is an issue that is largely ignored by the medical profession, except for use of devices & surgeries, that more often than not, leave a woman with further difficulties. I have been working on healing my prolapse and there are some things that truly help! The first thing that helped me is the Emotion Code (I'm a certified practitioner) which gave me such significant results that I now tell my clients to let their mothers, aunts, sisters, friends, etc. The second thing that I refer folks to is Dr. Sandy Bevacqua's site re the pelvis & all things that affect it! I'm sure you'll find these an excellent resource for your own medicine bag. Blessings, ArLene
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Jill
2/23/2015 05:56:49 am
Arlene! That's funny! I just enrolled in Dr. Sandy's Pelvic Health class that starts in a couple of weeks. My work is based in Bioenergy Balancing... an integration of cellular and energetic work that is based in the Whole Body Wisdom. So... this is the work I do also! Glad to know that you recommend the Pelvic Floor class! And thanks for your comment!
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ARLENE
12/30/2015 09:20:50 am
Just wanted to check back in! I have a 79 yr old client who had 3 prolapses-rectal, vaginal & bladder. Severe enough she was booked for surgery, which she was having considerable fear about. She decided to have an Emotion Code/Body Code session with me. After clearing some huge 'trapped emotions', interestingly enough, related to birthing her children, her mother's death the day before the birth of a child, being raped, husband not believing her about the rape ... she felt a huge release during the session, which was great. However, the biggest surprize for me came several weeks later when I talked to her. She says she has absolutely NO SYMPTOMS of any prolapse now ... and is still symptom-free a year & a half later!!! [I used to be an RN and this is 'unheard of'!]. I haven't done Dr. Sandy's course yet myself, though I do recommend as it makes so much sense. For myself, I have been using the EC/BC to keep working on the prolapse and have now been symptom free for the past 9 months. The last episode showed up after a big stress, which triggered the physical, and with this modality, I was once again able to find underlying causes that were ready to be released & healed. I commend you for focussing your attention on all parts of yourself-often the most significant pieces of our healing are in the shadow parts, which I get you are aware of & willing to work with. This is a huge part of the empowerment of the Divine Feminine, yes? Take heart, dear Jill ... you & I & all the women we work with & all the women in the world are part of this great evolution of restoring the rightful power & respect for the Feminine in our world.Your medicine awaits you ... and we await your emergence from this time you are now in, to celebrate with you the lessons & gifts of your journey. Warm Blessings, Arlene
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Jill CliftonI'm an explorer of inner realms, a pattern observer, and an invitation maker. I believe that healing the world starts within. If you organize your blog conversations through Bloglovin' you can follow me there...
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