Why healing depends on you

Which came first... the belief or the truth?  Are we really taught to believe in the truth?  Or are we told a story, a convincing one... that many people around us believe... and then we assume that it's true?  How do you know when something is true anyway?  Because someone tells you?  What if someone tells you... "I love you!"... but then checks up on you wherever you go... or yells at you about being too fat/lazy/slow... not enough.  Is it true that they love you?  Does it feel like love?  Or do you know when you see truth because you can feel it... experience it... like it comes from your bones?

When we believe something with certainty... no doubt about it... it becomes our truth.  If we believe that we are not enough, we will experience ourselves as not enough.  Our beliefs are so strong... so magnetic... that we find evidence only for what we already believe is true.  

Healing, then... takes place when we develop the relationship with ourselves... really look at the voice that we use when we talk to ourselves.  Does that voice make us feel like it's telling the truth?  How does that voice get so distorted that we have lost sight of the perfection we were born with... that still resides inside of us?  How do we rekindle that relationship... the one we had when we were small... when we lived from our truth... before we learned to hide it?  It is not easy to pinpoint where and when these distortions became a part of our story.  

The reason I believe that healing depends on each of us, is that it's critical to assess the inner voice... to find out what it believes is true... and to cultivate a relationship with that inner self.  The relationship we hold within us... that voice that tells us that we're doing things well... or we're screwing up royally... that either gives us the compassion we need, or it criticizes us heavily... THAT is our most crucial relationship.  We cannot get away from it... except to make ourselves numb.  Many people take the route of numbness through excessive alcohol, drugs, working constantly, or by watching TV for hours on end.  They do it because they don't know how to come to terms with that voice.  They don't know how to change the relationship that dwells within.

Sometimes this requires someone to help us identify what our beliefs are... which ones get in our way and when.  It's not easy to see your own beliefs.  They are taken-for-granted... never questioned... many times simply because they have been there for so long... and are reinforced by others in our lives.  I often find with clients that walking around these beliefs... asking if they're really true... today... personally... can bring much enlightenment and ease around the choices that they're making.  

In the end, it comes down to cultivating self-compassion and trust with that voice within.  That relationship magnetizes other relationships that are just like it... so that the relationships that you have with people around you are likely pretty decent reflections of the relationship you have with your inner self.  Is that true for you?